Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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