You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
