It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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