I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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