Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
