Pappa wants mamma naked
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
