So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
