Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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