fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do vagina's smell?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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