Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
