You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
