So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
