Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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