I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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