why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
