I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
