I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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