I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
