I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
