You kept calling me your small dog last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
