i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize