she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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