i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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