I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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