it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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