So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
