I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
