I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
