After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
