Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
MIDGETS
????
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
