i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
