Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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