nut hugger
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
