like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
A bitchslap is in order.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
