Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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