the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
