You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
