Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
