People with herpes should wear stickers.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
