oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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