In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
