i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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