The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
