hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
