Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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