Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize