I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
