so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
