I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
