Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
