So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
