spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
