Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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