Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
did i just pee glitter
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
