If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
