She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
