wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
