I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
