Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
