You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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