Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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