Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize