Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
