we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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