If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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