It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
