he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize