I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't turn off my feet"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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