I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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