fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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