This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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